When Worlds Collide: Hard To Handle

Haldir closed his eyes.  He didn't know how to begin.  He wanted to tell to Severus how he felt; about him, about what had happened, about his relationship with Erestor.   He wanted to tell Severus that he had loved Erestor a long time ago, but it was him now - Severus who had captured his heart.  He wanted to fall to his knees and beg for another chance.  He wanted to wrap his arms around Severus and kiss him until they both felt weak with want.  He wanted to do all of that and more.  He just didn't know how to do it without overwhelming the man.  Severus cleared his throat which brought Haldir back from his thoughts.  "I don't know where to start, Severus.  I'm sorry about what happened.  It's pointless to blame Orophin and Rumil.  I don't know why they invited Erestor along, but when I realised that they had, I should have told you that he and I used to be involved.  It was a long time ago, though.  Nothing has happened between us in over a thousand years."  Haldir's stomach clenched at his lie.  No, he wasn't lying - as such.  Nothing had happened with Erestor.  He had stopped himself in time.  "I'm old, Severus.  A lot older than you anyway.  I'm over six thousand years old.  I have a few relationships under my belt and most of them with Elves.  I'm bound to bump into one or two former lovers now and again."  Severus said nothing.  Haldir continued.  "I know some of the stories he told might have been a bit shocking for you, but please understand that I wouldn't expect anything like that in our relationship.  That is, if there's still the possibility of us having a relationship."  Finally, Severus spoke.  "Why me?  Did you run out of Elves?"

"That's unkind,"  Haldir muttered.  "But you have every right to ask it.  I don't know why, Severus.  I've asked myself why I want you so much.  I fell in love with a mortal once before.  We stayed together for the duration of his life.  When he died, I felt so much pain that I vowed I'd never fall in love with another mortal.  And for two and a half thousand years, I didn't."  Haldir sighed and sat down on the worn armchair opposite the sofa.  He gestured for Severus to sit too.  "Do you remember the first time you saw me?"  Severus shook his head.  "I remember when I first saw you.  My brothers and I had gone along to the Character Ball a few years ago.  I watched you.  You looked uncomfortable being there.  The following year, you were there again, still looking uncomfortable.  Much like you are now."  Haldir chuckled weakly.  "This year, my brothers didn't want to go, so I went on my own.  I watched you and when I saw you looking back at me, I decided that it was time to meet you properly."  Haldir paused and blushed slightly.  "I had admired you from a distance for long enough.  I wanted to get to know you."  "Why did you wait so long?"  Despite himself, Severus was interested in what the Elf was telling him.  "Long?  I'm an Elf.  Three years isn't long.  I had always gone to these events with my brothers and they would never have allowed me to talk to you had they known how much I like you.  They were the ones who had to help me before, when I lost my mortal lover."  Haldir shook his head.  "No, they don't want to see me hurting like that again.  But, they weren't there.  So I took my chance."

Haldir ran his hands through his hair.  "Let me ask you, Severus.  Why me?  I've never seen you talk to anyone at the parties, let alone date one of us - or at least, try to date one of us.  So why?"  Severus shifted in his seat, cleared his throat and began to talk.  "I don't talk about my childhood.  Ever.  Nor do I talk about my feelings or, “Severus shuddered, "emotions.  I don't talk about my private life to anyone.  I don't get involved in other's lives and I don't let others get involved in mine.  I will never tell you if or whom I have loved in the past, nor will I tell you my hopes for the future.  If you accept me this way, I will answer your question."  Haldir moved over to sit beside Severus on the sofa.  He took the man's hands in his, looked into his eyes and nodded.  "I accept you, however you are."  Severus ran his thumbs over the backs of Haldir's hands.  "I want you.  It's as simple as that.  At first, I thought you were only interested in having a fling.  Then I wondered if I really was attracted to you, or if I was just responding to your attention.  I finally realised that I just want you.  There's something about you that makes me less uncomfortable both with myself and with the idea of opening up a little.  If anyone can get me to reveal part of myself, then it's you.  If you still want to...?"

Haldir brought Severus' hands up to his lips and kissed the back of each one.  "I would like to...very much."  He leaned over and licked his lips.  "Is it alright if I kiss you now?"  Severus could only nod his consent.  Haldir pressed his lips against the man's and brought one of his hands around to cradle Severus' head.  Haldir ran his tongue over Severus' lips and Severus parted them to allow Haldir access.  Haldir's other hand stroked Severus' jaw line.  Severus wrapped his arms around Haldir, pulling him close and deepening the kiss.  When they finally pulled apart, both were flushed and breathless.  "I want this, really I do.  But I can't rush into anything.  Please be patient with me?"  Haldir smiled.  "I'm a six thousand year old Elf.  If there's one thing I know, its patience."  He laughed, pulling Severus close and kissing him once more.

The end