High Spirits

"Caras Galadhon.  Some call it the heart of Elvendom on Earth.  I call it spook central.  At one time or another, we've had all sorts of ghouls and ghosts to contend with.  Why, I can tell you stories that'll put the willies right up you.  Like the time - Rumil!  Stop laughing!"  Orophin broke off from his story telling and scowled at his brother.  Rumil had made a valiant attempt to stop laughing but was unable to stop the shaking of his shoulders and the tears of mirth that rolled down his cheek.  One glance at Haldir told Orophin that his other brother fared no better.  Orophin stamped his foot.  "You're supposed to be helping me with my story for the Autumn Festival - not behaving like Elflings.  Haldir wiped away a tear and still chuckling said, "But it's funny - ghosts with willies that they'll stick up you.  Pervy ghouls.  Too much!"  With that, Haldir and Rumil collapsed into uncontrollable laughter.  Orophin left them to it.

"Stupid brothers.  They're forever laughing at me."  Orophin kicked a stone into the air but hadn't noticed the Elf standing in front of him.  He winced as the stone flew at the Elf - and passed right through him.  Orophin gasped and rubbed his eyes.  Hesitantly, he addressed the figure before him.  "How did..."  He gulped.  "Are you a ghost?"  The figure laughed, a sound that was almost not there.  The more Orophin looked, the more he couldn't see the Elf.  Still the mysterious, translucent Elf laughed, growing dimmer all the time.  It was not an unkind laugh, in fact was very friendly-sounding.  Orophin felt himself grinning at thin hair.  He was once more alone, but now his mood had greatly improved.  He made his way back to the talan he shared with his brothers.

"Listen to this bit - 'there was a ghostly whale'!  Look!"  Rumil pointed to the parchment.  Haldir spotted the error and howled.  "Oh, that's almost as funny as the flying goolies."  Haldir slapped his thigh, tears coursing down his face.  Rumil had started to hiccough.  "Or the - the - the heedless horseman.  'Eek! A heedless horseman!’  'Pay him no heed and he'll not harm you.'  Hah-hah."  Rumil put on a high pitched, mocking voice.

"I suppose I should be grateful that you're at least reading my story.  Even if you are laughing at it."  Orophin pouted in the doorway.  How typical, he thought.  "You always do this to me."  He whined.  Rumil and Haldir had ceased their laughter and now looked embarrassed and guilty.  They had been caught mocking their brother's story.  Haldir picked up the parchment, passed it to Orophin and said, "It is really rather good.  We didn't mean to be cruel."  Orophin's eyes had started to well up with tears and his bottom lip quivered.  He took the proffered parchment, wiped his nose on his sleeve and stomped through to his bedroom.

Orophin lay on his bed, sniffling and grumbling.  Despite his being well past his majority, he still keenly felt the jibes and dogs from his brothers.  He had been chosen by his Lord and Lady to be this year's scribe - the one who would write the tale that was always told at the Autumn Festival.  He knew that what his writing skills lacked, his imagination more than made up for, and knew that Lord Celeborn would compensate for his spelling and grammar during the reading.  Haldir and Rumil on the other hand were not so generous.  He should have known better than to ask their opinion.  Big fat tears rolled down his cheek and plopped onto the pillow.  Eventually sleep overcame him and the tears stopped.

A silent, not quite there figure watched the unhappy Elf.  His translucent brow furrowed as he watched Orophin cry himself to sleep and a fury built inside him.  He too had been the youngest of three brothers and had also been subject to pranks and jokes and mockery.  Haldir and Rumil needed to be taught a lesson and he was just the one to do it.

Haldir and Rumil sat in the living area of their talan, each lost in thought.  Rumil felt remorse, remembering his own torture at his older brother's hands.  Haldir - having always been the one to mete out the torture felt less remorse, more righteousness.  Rumil had fared well under his well-timed and brilliantly designed 'lessons', however Orophin did not seem to take them so well.  He had been sensitive as an Elfling and carried that sensitivity into his majority.  Rumil had been made of sturdier stuff, quickly learning to fight back.  When Orophin came along, Haldir and Rumil had joined forces to torment the youngster.  Two heads were better than one it seemed, and their pranks were imaginative and diverse, ranging from the usual 'beasties in the bed’, through 'honey in the shampoo' to 'telling the Lady that Orophin had been trying on her dresses'.  Actually, even Haldir had thought that one was perhaps a little too much.  Still, they were character building.  Weren't they?  He was beginning to wonder.  Haldir stood, straightening his tunic and said to Rumil, "I'm going for a wank.  Keep an eye on him."

Haldir walked along the path, oblivious to sights and sounds around him.  His thoughts were with Orophin.  He wondered if he and Rumil had gone too far this time.  It was one thing to hide his uniform, but to mock something as personal as his writing, particularly when he lacked confidence in his skills, this was bordering on the cruel.  So absorbed in his musings, Haldir failed to notice the fallen branch in front of him until it was too late.  Arms flailing uselessly he pitched forward, landing inelegantly, face first in a pile of mud.  Urgh!  Not mud - horses had passed this way earlier and he had just discovered one of their presents.  He sat up, scraping shit from his eyes, trying not to gag.  As he wiped, he could swear he heard tinkling laughter, filtering through the bows of the trees.

Rumil looked into Orophin's room, saw he was sleeping then made his way through to the kitchen to find some food.  He too was lost in thought and memory.  He recalled quite vividly all that Haldir had done to him and remembered plotting to do the same - and worse - to Orophin.  He felt it was his right.  He stepped into the dark kitchen.  There was no need for a light, he knew his way to the pantry well enough.  That was a pity.  Had he taken a candle, he might have seen the banana skin in his path.  The one he only became aware of as he skidded, grabbing the table to steady himself.  His fingers grasped the table cloth, pulling it towards him as he continued down.  The jug of cream, which had been left out teetered on the edge, falling at the same time as Rumil's back made contact with the floor.  The afternoon had been unseasonably warn, and Rumil found himself covered in the rancid, curdled cream.  It reeked, now so did Rumil.  As he struggled to his feet muttering and cursing under his breath, he was positive he could hear a light giggle.  He slopped through the talan to his bedroom, trying not to drip on the floor but failing.  In his room, he peeled off his filthy clothes, threw them into a corner and washed himself in the bowl of cold water on his dresser.  He had just started to dry himself off when he heard the door slam, and Haldir similarly muttering and cursing.

“Where is he?”  Haldir growled, steaming towards Orophin’s bedroom.  Rumil threw open his door and gasped.  He held a candle up to fully see the sticky brown mess on Haldir face and upper body.  “What happened to you?  You stink, by the way.”  Rumil fanned his nose and grimaced.  Haldir pointed towards Orophin’s room.  “He tripped me.  I landed in shit.  Just look at me!”  Rumil tried not to laugh.  He shook his head.  “Couldn’t have been Orophin.  He’s fast asleep.  Hasn’t left his room all evening.”  Haldir’s fists bunched at his side.  “It must have been him – who else would do something like this?  No-one would be brave enough to trip me up.  Besides, I heard him laugh.”  Rumil shook his head again.  “I assure you Haldir, he has not left his room.  Hang on…you heard him laugh?”  Rumil cocked his head.  That rang a bell.  He too had heard laughter after his accident.  He pushed Haldir aside and opened Orophin’s door.  His younger brother was in the same position – arms and legs splayed, head on one side and his tongue poking out from between his lips.  He looked serene, if still slightly red-eyed.  Rumil and Haldir looked at each other and shrugged.

Haldir was clean and fresh-smelling.  He drummed his fingers on the kitchen table and watched Rumil clean the cream and shards of shattered jug from the floor.  “Something just isn’t right, Rumil.”  He said.  Rumil poked his head up.  “You’re quite right there.  It does seem more than a little coincidental that both of us should have accidents.  And such similar ones!  Ah-hah!  There’s the culprit.”  Rumil picked up the banana peel and held it up for Haldir to see.  Haldir stifled a laugh.  Rumil threw the skin out the window and put the mop and brushes in the cupboard.  He sat on the chair and winced.  “My bottom hurts,”  he complained.  Haldir smiled sympathetically then yawned.  “This has been a tiring evening, Rumil.  I am going to bed.”  Haldir stood.  The chair came with him.  Rumil’s eyes widened to see the chair, firmly stuck to his brother’s backside.  “Don’t just look – help me!”  Haldir rumbled.  Rumil tried to dash to his brothers aid only to find that his chair had become rather attached to him.    The brothers looked at each other. 

The other-worldly Elf could not contain his laughter.  He chucked loudly watching the two wicked brothers try to free each other from their wooden seats.  He chortled as leggings were torn and hairs ripped out.  He guffawed when the brothers realised that the only way to free themselves was to remove their leggings and then he howled when they tied themselves in knots trying to get undressed.

“Shhh!  Did you hear that?  Laughter!”  Haldir clamped his hand over Rumil’s mouth.  Rumil nodded and peeled his brother’s hand away, whispering “It sounded like laughter.”  “What’s going on?”  Haldir and Rumil shrieked, whipping around to see who had spoken.  Orophin stood in the doorway looking sleepy and rubbing his eyes.  “You woke me up – why are you half naked?”  Orophin pointed to their lower halves.  He looked around the room.  Two of the three dining chairs were lying on their side on the floor, ripped leggings beside them.  His brothers were flushed and panting, sweat on their brows.  He came to the only possible conclusion.  His lips curled downwards and he looked even more miserable than he had earlier.  “First you play pranks, then you mock my stories…now you’re doing THINGS with each other and leaving me out.  I hate you both!”  Before either Haldir or Rumil could deny anything, Orophin stormed off.  Haldir pushed Rumil out of the way to chase after him. 

“Orophin – wait!”  Haldir caught hold of Orophin’s arm and dragged him into the living area and onto a couch.  Haldir covered his nakedness with a cushion and pulled Orophin into a tight embrace.  Stroking his hair, Haldir spoke softly to him.  “We weren’t doing anything.  We had a bit of an accident and had to remove our trousers.  We’d never leave you out if we were doing *that*.”  Rumil sat on the other side of Orophin.  He laid his chin on Orophin’s shoulder and cooed, “No, we’d never be that cruel.”  He placed a kiss on Orophin’s cheek.  Haldir spoke again.  “We’re sorry for all the pranks we’ve played and we’re really sorry that we made fun of your story.”  Haldir kissed Orophin’s neck, running his hands under his brother’s tunic.  Rumil agreed.  “We have learned our lesson – we promise not to be so unkind in future.  Can you forgive us?”  Rumil licked the tip of Orophin’s ear.  Orophin sighed.  He wondered what had brought about the change in his brothers – and also wondered how long the change would last.  Haldir tugged at the tunic and Orophin allowed him to remove it.  As soon as it was off, Haldir clamped his lips around a bare nipple.  Rumil’s fingers worked at the fastening to his leggings while he licked and sucked Orophin’s other nipple.  Orophin stretched his legs, giving his brother better access and replied.  “I forgive you.”

A ghostly apparition watched the brothers.  Three brothers.  He had been the youngest of three brothers and true, he had suffered years of torment and torture at their hands.  But he also remembered the times like this when pranks and jokes took a back seat to the finer pleasures in life.  He felt somewhat aroused – for a ghost.  If he’d had a body, he would have felt himself harden.  But he didn’t, so he contented himself with watching the floorshow and smiling, broadly.

Orophin was flat out on the sofa, one brother teasing his nipples and the other sucking his cock.  Out of the corner of his eye he saw a shadowy figure watching and smiling.  The figure winked.  Orophin winked back and lost himself in pleasure.

The end

Notes:  This was written for the Lothlorien Lovers Yahoo Group's October challenge, "A Comedy of (Spelling) Errors".  Tried something a little different - its not linked to any of the Fictional Party/Worlds Collide/Mis-Adventure stories.  The only link is that it yet again features the tasty trio.