A Fictional Party 3 - The Aftermath

Bounce.  Bounce.  Bounce.  Bounce.  Prod.  Prod.  Prod.  Bounce.  Prod.

 “Haldir – wake up!”  Rumil gave up trying to be subtle.  “C’mon…wake up!”  He pinched his brother’s nostrils shut and Haldir finally awoke, struggling for breath.  “Whassit?  Eh?”  He rubbed the crusty stuff out of his eyes and struggled to focus.  Rumil wavered in front of him.  “Piss off.”  He tried to shove his brother away.  “Your breath smells like an orc’s bum.  What were you drinking last night?”  Rumil fanned his nose.  Haldir groaned.  As far as he could remember, he had drunk punch, copious amounts of wine and there was a hint of cherry brandy somewhere in there too.  Had he been that drunk?  Celeborn had bought him that bottle a few years ago, and one sip had been enough to convince Haldir that the next time he opened it would be if he needed paint stripper.

“Seeing as how you’re awake brother, would you like to explain the little present you left us on the floor in the living room?”  Haldir peered at Rumil.  “The what, now?”  “There’s a rather ill-tempered creature lying on the rug groaning and swearing to itself.  Explain?”  Memories started to filter into Haldir’s hungover mind.  Party…Severus…no taxis.  “Em…he’s not naked is he?”  Haldir had only the vaguest memory of the events which unfolded after last night’s party.  “No, not naked.  But he is wearing a rather interesting slice of pizza on his face.  Mind you, we did find him sleeping face down in the box.  Could have been worse, I suppose.  You seem to have kebab and chilli sauce all over your bed.” 

Severus and Haldir had stumbled along trying to find a taxi.  The clubs had just emptied and as is traditional on a Saturday night, there were at least four hundred revellers to every taxi.  After hanging about in a queue for an eternity – at least ten minutes at any rate – and receiving funny looks from those around them, they made the decision that all drunkards make at some point in their lives.  They would walk home.  After a brief discussion, they decided that since Haldir lived the closest, they would go there and Severus could ‘phone for a taxi.  Haldir explained that as he lived with his brothers, they’d have to keep quiet.  So they whispered from that point on, which proved to be a problem when the guy behind the counter in the kebab shop couldn’t hear their order. 

“Kebab.  You must have been really bad last night.  You’ve always insisted you’d rather eat your shoe leather than a kebab.”  Rumil picked up a piece of meat of indeterminate origin and wrinkled his nose.  Haldir groaned.  He attempted to sit up but failed when a plank of wood appeared to hit him squarely between the eyes.  “My head hurts.”  “You’ll get no sympathy from me, brother!  You should have stayed at home with me and Orophin.  We watched some DVDs, you’d have liked them.  Notting Hill and Love Actually.  We went through a whole box of tissues between us.”  “Pathetic,” at least Haldir’s smirk still seemed to be in full working order.

Armed with pizza, kebabs and a bag of Malteasers, Haldir lead the way to his abode.  Wheezing, Severus climbed the last few stairs.  “You could have warned me you live in an attic flat!”  He grumbled.  “Yeah, sorry.  Y’see we’re used to living in trees.  Can’t live in trees in the city.  Police don’t like it.  Fascists.”  Haldir had given up whispering.  He fumbled with his key and finally got the door open.  They staggered inside.  Haldir tiptoed to the room that his brothers shared and closed the door.  Severus was sprawled on the sofa, shovelling pizza into his mouth.  He had undone the first few buttons on his robe and had kicked off his shoes.  “Make yourself comfortable.”  Haldir shoved him over and collapsed onto the sofa beside him.

Rumil skipped out of Haldir’s room.  “I’ll just get the breakfast on, shall I?”  He giggled.  Haldir threw the closest thing to hand after him.  Chilli sauce-covered pitta bread slid down the wall.  He hauled himself out of bed and looked down.  “Not bad,” he said to no-one in particular.  He had mostly managed to undress himself before passing out.  He wasn’t sure how he’d managed, however, to take off his leggings without first of all removing his boots.  And he still wore his cloak.  “Better than usual,” he surmised and set about making himself look presentable for his guest.

Food forgotten about, Haldir poured Severus another glass of cherry brandy.  “Sorry – s’all we’ve got in.  Cheers!”  They clinked glasses and knocked back the contents in one.  “Hurrrhhhhhgggh!”  Severus all but gagged.  “Nice,” he grinned and held out his glass for a refill.  Haldir slipped his arm around Severus’ shoulder.  “S’getting late.”  He whispered.  Severus nodded.  “Y’d be better off just staying here tonight.”  Severus nodded again.  “If you want, you can share my bed…”  Haldir let the question hang.  “I most certainly will not!”  Severus gasped.  “What do you take me for?  I wouldn’t do anything like that on a first date!”  “So, this is a date now?”  Haldir licked his lips and peered at Severus through half-closed eyes.  “Maybe…”  “You’re not going to cast any spells on me, then?”  Severus shook his head.  “Not immediately.”  Haldir took that to be a good sign and leaned in for a kiss.  “I don’t kiss on first dates, either!”  “Fine!  Cuddles?”  Severus responded by snuggling into Haldir’s arms.  “That’ll do for now,” he sighed, contentedly. 

Haldir hesitated at his bedroom door.  He was fairly certain nothing of any consequence had happened the night before, but he was still a bit shy of seeing Severus.  The sound of the toilet flushing reminded Haldir of his most pressing need to leave his room.  He opened his door and came face to face with Severus.  “Oh!  Um, good morning!”  He tried for cheery.  It sounded strangled.  “Grunt!”  “I’m sorry – did you just say grunt?”  “To actually grunt would cause my head to throb.”  “Ah, I see.  Well I need to um…y’know, use the er…”  “Of course.”  “See you in a minute.”  Severus shuffled off back to the living room and Haldir dashed to the bathroom.

After a few minutes of holding Severus close, Haldir heard the man begin to gently snore.  Trying not to wake him, Haldir extracted himself from Severus’ grasp and shambled off to his bedroom, taking the remains of his kebab with him.  He got undressed and fell onto the bed.  “Not a bad night.  Had worse.”  He told the pillow.  “That Severus is a bit of alright.”  The pillow chose not to respond and instead welcomed Haldir’s head into its feathery softness.

Haldir walked into the living room.  Orophin was glaring at Severus and Rumil grinned from the kitchen doorway as he whisked some eggs.  “Omelettes, anyone?”  He chuckled when both Haldir and Severus paled considerably.  “I’d better be off.  I have homework to mark and lessons to prepare.”  Severus stood and smoothed down his robes.  “Do you want me to ‘phone for a taxi?”  Haldir felt awkward.  “No, there’s a bus stop just down the road.  I’ll be fine!”  Severus waved away Haldir’s offer.  “Okay then, I’ll just see you to the door.”  They walked down the short hallway to the front door.  “So, um I enjoyed myself last night.”  Haldir shuffled his feet.  “Hmm, me too.  Had more fun than I thought I would.”  Severus fiddled with his buttons.  “Maybe see you next year?”  Haldir asked.  “Yeah, of course.  Or, y’know sooner – if you want?”  Severus felt shy.  “Sooner would be good.  Still have to get that kiss from you, need a second date for that.”  Haldir laughed, nervously.  “That’d be good.  I’ve left my number on the coffee table.  Just in case you wanted it for…anything.”  “Good, yeah.  That’d be….nice.”  Haldir unlocked the door and Severus stepped out into the close.  “See you soon, Severus.”  “I’ll look forward to it, Haldir.”  Snape leaned forward and pressed his lips to Haldir’s cheek then took off down the stairs, his robes billowing behind him.

Haldir touched his cheek.  He closed the door and walked back through to the living room.  His brothers stared at him.  He stared back.  “Yes?”  Orophin nudged Rumil.  “Haldir…”  He started.  “What?”  “What happened to your eyebrows?”  Haldir’s hand shot up to where his eyebrows should have been but was now smooth, bare skin.  He ran back to the front door, flung it open and yelled down the stairs, “I’ll get you back for this Severus Snape!  Even if it’s the last thing I do, I’ll get my revenge.  Morning Mrs Smith.”  Haldir nodded cordially at his tutting neighbour, peering up through the banister at him.  He turned back to go into his flat, a grin playing about his lips.

The end