The Mis-Adventures of Orophin and Rumil: Cum on, Feel the Noize

Rumil stared at the computer screen.  With only fifteen minutes left on the auction, he wanted to make sure no-one else could come along and out-bid him.  He really wanted the original 1975 Sweet album, Strung Up (the one with the live version of Hellraiser) and nothing was going to stand in his way.  He watched the clock and refreshed the screen.  Orophin peered over his shoulder.  “Sweet?  They’re rubbish!”  Rumil shrugged.  “I loved the Seventies.”  “I remember.  Hey, Rumil…remember when you got that hairstyle – you know, the one modelled on that guy from Slade?  Silly fringe an’ all?”  Rumil sighed wistfully.  “Ah yes, brother.  Those were the days.  Bellbottoms, tank tops and all the Soda Stream you could get your hands on.  I used to love getting busy with the fizzy.  Long live the Seventies.”  Orophin shook his head.  “I remember when you used to get all nostalgic about the 1870’s, brother.  You have such a short term memory.  I would blame it on the Sixties, but you’ve always been like that.”  Rumil merely smiled and lost himself in memories.

~Flashback~

Haldir put on the handbrake of his mustard-yellow Ford Cortina, leaned over into the backseat and grabbed the shopping bag.  He got out of the car, slammed the door then opened it again to free the bottom of his flared corduroys.  He jogged up the stairs to the flat he shared with his brothers, threw open the door and shouted, “Feel the noize, brothers!”  Rumil and Orophin sat on the tatty sofa, watching Jim’ll Fix It.  Haldir dumped the bag on the coffee table, knocking the 1973 Blue Peter annual onto the floor.  “You’d better not have lost my page – I was really getting into Bleep and Booster, Haldir!”  Rumil whined.  “I miss Valerie Singleton, Lesley Judd’s not the same.”  Orophin sniffed into his tumbler of Babycham.  “Have you two been sitting there all day?”  Haldir asked.  His brothers both nodded.  “Yup.”  They said.  “What have you got there, then?”  Orophin motioned to the bag on the table.  Haldir picked it up and produced a seven inch, vinyl single.  “Cum on feel the noize…the new Slade song.”  Rumil jumped up.  “Slade?  They’re so groovy!  Stick it on, then!”  Haldir walked over to the record player, put the record onto the turntable and placed the stylus on the vinyl.  He switched the record player on, turned up the volume and the not-so dulcet tones of Noddy Holder filled the room.

They listened to the record five times in a row before Orophin asked, “What time are we going out?”  Haldir looked at the carriage clock on the mantelpiece.  “Film starts at eight, we’d better get going now.  I need to get petrol on the way.”  Rumil pouted.  “I’m still not sure I want to go…I was talking to Elladan and Elrohir the other day and they said its really scary.”  Orophin and Haldir looked at each other and then at Rumil.  “Don’t be silly, Rumil.”  Haldir said.  “Remember – its all just make-believe.”  Orophin laughed, “You’ve seen Galadriel having one of her strops.  Nothing can be scarier than that!”  Rumil switched off the record player and the three of them grabbed their parkas.  “Besides, with a name like The Exerciser, how scary can it be?”  Orophin added as they piled into Haldir’s car.  “The Exorcist, Orophin.  It’s called The Exorcist.”  Haldir rolled his eyes and started the engine.

~End of Flashback~

“Are you listening to me?”  Orophin slapped his brother’s back.  Rumil jolted back to the here and now.  “What?”  "I said your auction’s finished.  You’ve got the album.”  Rumil refreshed the screen just to be certain.  He had indeed won the auction.  He punched the air with glee!  “Man, I loved the Seventies.”

The End