The Mis-Adventures of Orophin and Rumil: Take my Brother, Please

Orophin sat down at his desk and took up the pen.

Dear Deirdre,

I’ve never done this before - well, I mean obviously I’ve written letters before but never to an Agony Aunt.  My brother is driving me mad!  To put you in the picture, I live with my two elder brothers and have done all my life.  Things worked well for the first couple of millennia, but lately relationships have become strained.  My eldest brother has found a partner, and Brother 2 and I are very happy for him.  They had a few problems with their first couple of dates, but things are beginning to look up.  He’s been single for a long time.  Actually, all three of us have been single for the last couple of thousand years.  This hasn’t been a problem, until now.  Since Brother 1 has met his new beau, I have begun to wonder if I am missing out on something.  While I would love to get out there and find someone of my own, Brother 2 has different ideas.  We have always been close, but lately Brother 2 has become very clingy.  All we ever do is stay in the house and play board games.  We went out for the first time in ages a couple of weekends ago, but something happened to Brother 2 and we had to come home.  I don’t know what it was – he refuses to talk about it.  I was really disappointed, I was having great fun.  I have forgotten what it’s like to be around people.  I was having a great time, dancing and flirting on the dance floor when Brother 2 suddenly grabbed me and dragged me away.

I suggested another trip out this weekend and Brother 2 almost took my head off.  I know, it’s my own fault.  I should never have asked him whilst he was whetting his sword.  I just really want to make some new friends.  I love both of my brothers very much and I still enjoy spending time with them – just not all the time.  I admit that I’m slightly jealous of Brother 1 and his new friend.  Even our oldest chum is thinking about settling down (with a criminal!  But that’s a different story). 

Please, Deidre…I beg of you.  Tell me how I can learn to live my own life without hurting my brother.

Yours,

O

Orophin put down the pen.  He felt like he was betraying Rumil, but truly he was beginning think that he would be forever in his brothers’ shadows.  He carefully folded the letter and slipped it into an envelope, just in time for Rumil to come into the room and flop down on his bed.  “I’ve been thinking about what you said, Orophin.”  Orophin looked quizzically at his brother.  “About going out, I mean.  Maybe we should go out more.  Haldir has Severus now and we don’t want to be left on the shelf, do we?”  “But I thought after the last time…”  Rumil waved his hand.  “Don’t want to talk about it.  No, I’ll go out if you really want to.”  “I do.”  “Okay then, that’s settled.  One condition, though…”  “What’s that?”  “We don’t go to the Flirtatious Flamingo.”  Rumil shuddered.  “Agreed.”  Rumil grinned and rolled off the bed.  “I’m hungry, want some lunch?”  Rumil called over his shoulder.  “Please!”  Orophin looked at the envelope still in his hands.  He shrugged and tore up the letter.  “It’s a start, I suppose.”

The end

Note:  Dear Deirdre is the Agony Aunt for the UK newspaper, The Sun.