Worlds Apart

Haldir lay on his bed staring up at the ceiling.  Severus was gone.  Sometime after Severus had gone to get a drink, he decided to leave altogether.  Haldir did not know the reason why.  He did not know when.  All he knew was that Orophin had knocked gently on his door, came in and sat beside him on the bed, pulling him into an embrace.  Orophin needed to say no words.  Haldir knew.  Severus had left.

Haldir had begun noticing subtle changes in his relationship with Severus several weeks previously.  Nothing he could quite put his finger on, but there were changes.  Severus was even cagier about his life apart from Haldir, even more reluctant to talk about himself, unwilling to go out to restaurants, content to stay in Haldir’s flat.  Haldir knew something was amiss, but for some reason he chose to ignore the feeling of unease in the pit of his stomach.  Likewise, he knew that his brothers’ increasing dislike of Severus was not for nothing.  Rumil was usually friendly and willing to welcome new people into their lives, Orophin was always wary of strangers at first but once he got to know them, he too welcomed them.  Neither had welcomed Severus.  If anything, their dislike became more obvious as the months went by.  Had Severus picked up on that dislike?  Of course.  The dislike was clearly mutual.  Was that why Severus left?  Because of Haldir’s brothers?  No.  Despite the barely concealed hatred between his brothers and his lover, that was not the reason.  Severus was far too stubborn to let something like that get in the way of what he wanted.

What he wanted…Was that it?  Had Severus decided he no longer wanted Haldir?  Again, Haldir felt sure that was not the answer.  Tentative at first, their passion had quickly grown in intensity and their love-making in frequency.  Lately, it seemed that Severus was insatiable, longing for those moments of intimacy, desperate to lose himself in the moment, needing to lose himself in Haldir.  When their pulses began to return to normal, and the post-orgasmic glow had left their bodies Severus became withdrawn once more.  Following each time they had made love, it seemed that Severus’ mood grew darker.

On the third night that Orophin and Rumil were away, Severus had appeared at Haldir’s door, breathless and flushed.  He was hardly in the flat when he grabbed Haldir, thrusting his tongue into his mouth and practically ripped their clothes off.  There was an almost angry quality to Severus’ behaviour.  Haldir attempted to pull away, but Severus growled and sank his teeth into Hadir’s neck, drawing blood, grinding his body against the Elf’s.  Severus did not speak, but pulled Haldir into the nearest room – the kitchen. Severus quickly removed what was left of Haldir’s clothes, throwing them carelessly over his shoulder.  He ran his hands roughly over Haldir’s body causing the Elf to squirm and tremble in his grasp.  Haldir felt no fear.  Despite of the man’s roughness – or perhaps because of it – he grew aroused.  Severus’ desperation was infectious and Haldir found himself responding in kind, pulling Severus towards him and kissing him fiercely, digging his fingernails into Severus’ backside.  The force of the kiss pushed Haldir back, knocking into the table and sending bits and pieces crashing to the floor.  A mug smashed here, a pot of jam spilled there.  Both were heedless of the mess.   Severus dropped to his knees before Haldir and took the Elf in his mouth, sucking hungrily.  Haldir wrapped Severus’ hair in his hands and thrust into the man’s mouth, barely holding back from choking him.

Haldir growled his displeasure when Severus pushed himself away and up onto his feet.  Severus had taken him to the brink of completion then – cruelly – pulled away.  Severus grasped Haldir’s shoulders and spun him around, sliding his hands down the Elf’s arms to position his palms flat on the table.  Severus glanced around and spotted a bottle of olive oil.  He grabbed it, twisted the top off then poured a generous amount into his hand.  He swiftly prepared himself and Haldir, pausing only to say three words – “I love you” – before plunging himself into his lover’s tight channel.  He used one hand to steady himself and brought the other around in front of Haldir to stroke his cock in time to the thrusts.  The coupling was brief but intense.  Haldir soon felt himself tighten with impending release and Severus’ thrusts came quicker and deeper.  Almost as one, the lovers reached orgasm, Severus filling Haldir with his seed, Haldir coating Severus’ hand with his.  Severus only allowed himself a moment to catch his breath before pulling away.  He grabbed a towel and wiped himself off.  Haldir’s legs felt week, he remained leaning on the table and watched as Severus washed his hands and dressed.  Severus looked apologetic as he spoke to Haldir.  “I have to go.  I have things I must attend to.”  With that the man left, leaving Haldir panting, surrounded by mess.  And confused.

Haldir grimaced at the memory.  For the first time, Severus had left him sore and despite his completion, he had felt unfulfilled.  That had not been love-making.  That had been possession.  No tenderness, just taking and Haldir had allowed it, in fact he had enjoyed it.  It was only afterwards, while he cleaned the kitchen that he felt shame creep in.  He felt used.  That episode had been the turning point although Haldir had not realised it at the time.  It was only now, looking back that realisation dawned.  Severus had been changing before his very eyes, a darkness was overtaking the light and both Elf and man were powerless to stop its advance.  After the time in the kitchen, Haldir and Severus had only made love once more, in the morning before his brothers came home.  That morning.  It seemed an age ago now.  It too was different to any other time they had been together.  It was almost as if they were back at the beginning of their relationship, both unsure of how to touch the other, tenderness and gentle caresses.  It had been wonderful.  Perhaps deep down, both lovers knew that this would be their last time together and sought to make it memorable and delightful.  It was both.

The argument was the catalyst for Severus’ departure, but not the reason.  Haldir would probably never know the real reason.  All he really knew was that it was over.  He would never see Severus again.  He felt sad, he would miss the man, miss the closeness.  He also felt relief.  He knew that wherever Severus was headed, it was not somewhere Haldir wanted to accompany him.  The man had made the right choice and Haldir was grateful.

The end

Notes:  Thanks again, to my Beta Athos!